TV Nation Segment Summaries

NBC Show 1(Pilot)

TV Nation travels to Mexico to take advantage of the North American Free Trade Agreement and make the show with cheaper labor and maximize profits—just like GM and Converse.

New Yorkers know cabs may be difficult to get at rush hour or during a rainstorm. Black New Yorkers know another reason a cab may be hard to get—drivers refuse to stop for them. TV Nation goes to the streets to find out who is more likely to get a cab in New York City—Yaphet Kotto, a distinguished black actor, or Louis Bruno, a convicted white felon.

Appleton, Minnesota has hit hard times lately. So what did they do to improve the economy? They built a prison, of course, using private and public funds. TV Nation goes to Appleton to discuss with the community the only thing missing to make their dreams come true—inmates.

Love Canal
Remember Love Canal, the small town near Niagara Falls? You may only remember the evacuation that occurred there due to the leakage of toxic waste into homes. But now, some industrious realtors are trying to convince people to move back to the new, less toxic Love Canal.

Mike's Missiles
Remember the Cold War? And threats of nuclear weapons being aimed at us? These weapons are not still a threat are they? TV Nation creator Michael Moore travels to Russia to find the missile still aimed at his hometown, Flint, Michigan and convince the Russians to redirect it.

NBC Show 2

CEO Challenge
TV Nation challenges the CEO's of major corporations to perform some simple tasks using their company's products in order to justify their huge salaries. We ask the chairman of IBM to format a disk, the chairman of Palmolive to wash dishes, and the CEO of Phillip Morris to roll a cigarette.

AIDS Insurance Brokers
If you could make a lot of money through the death of another individual, would you do it? TV Nation visits some people who would—brokers who make available to investors the life insurance policies of AIDS patients at discount prices. When the patient dies, investors can claim the entire value of the policy, and make a huge profit.

Klan PR Makeover
Most people realize that politicians uses media experts to coach them on how to use the media to their advantage. Few people realize that hate groups do the same. TV Nation meets the "National Director" of the new, media-savvy Ku Klux Klan to see how the Klan's rhetoric has changed.

Remember the Gulf War, when Allied troops went to Kuwait to defeat the Iraqis and restore democracy? TV Nation travels to liberated, democratic Kuwait to find out if the Gulf War really did bring democracy to a country where, for example, women cannot vote.

Pets on Prozac
Psychiatrists have been prescribing Prozac to people with mental problems for many years now. But what about pets with mental problems, such as a dog that is obsessed with a log? TV Nation checks up on a number of pets that have been prescribed Prozac by their veterinarians and see what the drug has done.

NBC Show 3

Dr. Death
We all know what Dr. Jack Kervorkian does for a living, but did you ever wonder what he does in his spare time? TV Nation finds out by visiting him at his home in Michigan.

Many people feel that lobbyists are running our government and those with enough money can buy the government. TV Nation tests this theory and hires a lobbyist to see exactly how much democracy can be bought for $5,000.

Amazon Avon
TV Nation travels to the Amazon to visit Avon representatives who sell cosmetics to women by promising lighter skin, even greater height, when they buy Avon products that cost up to 13 times their daily wage.

North Dakota
North Dakota is the least visited state in the United States. Attractions such as the Lawrence Welk Museum and the geographical center of North America along with the subzero temperatures would suggest a booming tourist industry. TV Nation investigates.

What happens after New Yorkers flush the toilet? TV Nation follows the sludge train all the way to Sierra Blanca, Texas where New York's sludge is shipped and spread around town by the Merco company.

NBC Show 4

O.J./Product Placement Night
Have you noticed all of the free advertising companies have been getting from the extensive coverage of the O.J. Simpson trial? McDonald's. The Mezzaluna. White Ford Broncos. TV Nation jumps on the bandwagon and visits O.J.'s Bronco dealer to learn about the "O.J. Special." We also offer free advertising by strategically placing various products throughout the show.

Would you take vacation advice from a convicted felon? Prison labor is increasingly being used by corporations and even by state tourist departments as a source of cheap labor. TV Nation spends some time with inmates that book vacations but can never leave prison walls.

Hot Springs
We all know President Bill Clinton as the man "from a little town called Hope." Not many people know he grew up somewhere else. TV Nation travels to the town where Clinton grew up, a resort town in Arkansas called Hot Springs.

Lord Mike
What does it take to become royalty? Family connections? TV Nation visits Britain to learn what it really takes‹about $8,000. And they take Diners Club!

Health Care Olympics
TV Nation creates a contest for three different healthcare systems to see which system provides the best care. Competing countries are the United States, Canada, and Cuba. Special guests Bob Costas and Ahmad Rashad call play-by-play during the contest.

NBC Show 5

TV Nation Day
TV Nation and the citizens of Fishkill, NY celebrate and wait for August 16, 1994 to be declared officially by Congress as "TV Nation Day."

There are over 2,500 groups in the United States who feel the end of the world as we know it will come with the new millennium. TV Nation visits four of these groups to find out if we will survive the year 2000.

Get Ready for Prison Test
It seems that lately more and more white collar criminals are going to prison. But will they be prepared for their new environment? TV Nation hires an advisor to prepare our viewers who may very well be entering prison in the near future.

Just like The Who, Communism has come and gone. The only difference is, Communism never had a last tour across America. TV Nation gives it that last tour by packing an 18-wheeler with Communist merchandise and driving it through the South.

Not many of us understand what is going on in Bosnia. All we seem to know is that a lot of people are dying and we are doing nothing about it. TV Nation visits the ambassadors of Serbia and Croatia to eat pizza and perform diplomacy in order to work out a peace plan in the former Yugoslavia.

NBC Show 6

Gun Night
TV Nation correspondents join the ranks of Bill Cosby, Donald Trump, Howard Stern and Congressmen's wives -- and pack heat! We exercise our right to not only bear arms, but to shoot them too!

Do you know your neighbors' names? Do you know what they do for a living? Do you know if they are serial killers? TV Nation sends a serial killer to a typical suburban neighborhood to see what the neighborhood knows.

NY/NJ Grease
TV Nation uses its leverage to get tax breaks for running its operation in New York City by threatening to move to New Jersey. We go right to the top—New York City mayor Rudolph Giuliani—to see what we can get.

Talk Show
TV Nation attempts to answer the commonly asked question: Where exactly do those people on daytime talk shows come from?

NBC Show 7

Golf Night
TV Nation elicits the help of golf pro Rodger Jabara for hints on how to improve the show— and that terrible slice.

What was the British Empire built on? According to some British people—caning. After an American teenager was caned in Singapore was caned for scrawling graffiti on a car, many Americans began to advocate adopting the practice here as a means of discipline. TV Nation risks its butt and visits Great Britain to get the story on caning.

Have you ever tried to get revenge on your boss by committing acts of disobedience or sabotage? Stealing office supplies or perhaps crashing your bosses car? TV Nation finds out that many workers have. We learn that tactics used by workers to get payback on bosses that do not respect them.

Direct Mail
Who actually responds to direct mail mailings? TV Nation performs an experiment to see who would receive more responses—a young couple in need or Jeffrey Dahmer.

Corporate Consultants
We have heard a lot lately about companies downsizing in order to save a few bucks. TV Nation finds that these companies actually hire consultants to help them downsize more effectively. We then hire our own consultant so we can trim the fat on our payrolls.

NBC Year End Special

Throughout the show TV Nation gives jacuzzi limousine rides to members of the most hated groups in America including landlords, telemarketers, and satanists.

Corp Aid
We have all heard of Live Aid and Farm Aid, concerts that raise money for the needy. But this year was a rough year for some needy corporations that were slapped with record judgments against them for various corporate crimes. TV Nation holds a concert benefit featuring the Meat Puppets on Wall Street in New York City to raise money for the neediest corporation of them all—Exxon.

White House Security Guard
The White House seems to have been under assault lately—a man flies his plane into it, a man shoots at it. The President may be in danger. TV Nation hires private security guard for the most important address in the free world.

Didn't Die in '94
End-of-the-year specials always talk about the people that died in the previous year. We at TV Nation think that is depressing so throughout the night we highlight the people that did not die in 1994.

'95 Invasion
The past few years have been busy ones for American troops. Trips to Haiti, Somalia, and Kuwait. TV Nation holds a vote for the American public to decide where the troops will invade in 1995.

TV Nation takes a look at careers and rhetoric of the men that have been elected in overwhelming numbers to run our country—the Republicans!

Steven Wright/New Year
Steven Wright consults a number of experts on the major events that will or will not occur in 1995.

New Jobs
Politicians always talk about the number of jobs their administration has created. TV Nation talks to a number of people in Scranton, Pennsylvania to see what "new" jobs they have gotten and how their lives have improved since the creation of these jobs during the Clinton administration.

Fox Show 1

Bruno for President
With such easy qualifications for becoming President—a candidate must be a 35-year old native-born citizen—why do we always have so few choices? TV Nation runs its own candidate, convicted felon Louie Bruno, to take part in the democratic process.

We're #1
TV Nation visits various cities in America in celebration of their status as #1 in various fields such as Playboy subscriptions and carjacking.

TV Nation invades the public beaches of Greenwich, Connecticut which are not all that public. The beach is restricted to Greenwich residents only. So TV Nation brings a bus load of New Yorkers to enjoy the beach. When the bus is turned away, TV Nation's bus load of New Yorkers turn to the sea...and swim to the beach.

Crime Scene Cleanup
TV Nation meets the Barnes' a couple who started a business to cash in on the rise in violent crimes by cleaning up crime scenes. After the bodies are cleared and the police have gone, the Barnes' move in, do their business, and collect a hefty profit.

We all know slavery ended in the 1860's, right? Wrong. Mississippi has just gotten around to ending slavery. TV Nation rushes to Mississippi to acquire some slaves before the new law takes effect.

TV Nation introduces Crackers the Corporate Crime Fighting Chicken, a seven foot chicken that takes tips and takes action against corporate criminals across the country. In this segment, Crackers talks to New York City mayor Rudolph Giuliani about tax breaks given to a company called First Boston to stay in New York. But the company left anyway. Crackers and TV Nation say "That's a corporate crime!

Fox Show 2

Payback Night
Throughout the show, TV Nation asks people on the street to name some things that really get on their nerves. Car alarms that go off at 6 a.m.? No problem, TV Nation visits the CEO of a major car alarm company and sets off 10 car alarms at 6 a.m. Other paybacks include blasting Muzak outside the home of the head of Muzak and lifting and dropping a garbage dumpster outside the home of a garbage company owner.

KGB: Yuri
After running a classified ad in a local Russian newspaper in New York and screening dozens of qualified applicants, TV Nation hires Yuri Shvets as its very own KGB spy. Yuri's first mission is to reassure us that President Nixon is indeed dead despite reports of Nixon's friends' surprise and disbelief at his passing.

Many members of Congress want to eliminate funding for the National Endowment for the Arts and let private enterprise pay for our artists and museums. TV Nation says, "Hey, not a bad idea!" and visits on a tour of those museums that currently thrive without a single penny from the NEA—the Kentucky Fried Chicken Museum, the Tobacco Art and History Museum, and the Sacred Arts Museum, where the tour guide looks like Jesus.

TV Nation visits an Idaho man who bought 750 tons of scrap metal at a government auction. To his surprise, when he got the scrap metal home it turned out to be makings of an atomic bomb factory.

Jerusalem Syndrome
Each year millions of tourists visit the Holy Land. Occasionally, a few of them get off the tour bus and believe they are Jesus. Doctors in Jerusalem have named this phenomenon the "Jerusalem Syndrome." TV Nation walks the path of the prophets to investigate.

Johns of Justice
There is always a long line snaking out of women's restrooms at theaters, concerts, sporting events, and even some workplaces. Can't we, by now, figure this out? Surely it's not because most of the builders, architects, and plumbers are men is it? TV Nation takes a flatbed truck, puts a half-dozen port-o-johns on it and takes the "Johns of Justice" to some of the worst offenders.

Fox Show 3

War Reenactment Night
TV Nation joins the guys who dress up on weekends and reenact Civil War battles. Only this time, we have them reenact more recent battles in full Civil War regalia—the fall of Saigon, the Battle of Hiroshima, the battle between Tom Arnold and Roseanne and the battle everyone wanted to see—the one that occurred when Elizabeth Hurley picked up Hugh Grant from London's Heathrow Airport.

The Southern Baptist Church has published a map in Alabama showing which counties have the most residents who are "unsaved" and therefore doomed to the fires of hell. TV Nation travels to the county with the most "lost" souls and attempts to save them from eternal damnation.

Crackers -- Philly
Crackers the Corporate Crime-Fighting Chicken heads to Philadelphia in search of corporate wrongdoing. Hundreds of TV Nation fans how up to give him tips, one of which particularly ruffles Crackers' feathers: Philadelphia banks charge up to $30 for bounced check fees even if you are not responsible for bouncing the check. Crackers investigates the tip and takes action.

Electronic Sniffer
Just when you thought machines had replaced everyone—now comes the electronic nose. Around the world thousands of people are employed by companies to test the smell of new products, whether peasant or not. These employees sniff the interiors of new cars, luggage and clothing. They also smell the effects of deodorant, air freshener, and other products designed to cover up bad odors. But recently two companies in Great Britain developed an electronic nose that can do the same job. TV Nation visits these companies and the employees who will be displaced and challenges the electronic and human sniffers to go "nose-to-nose."

Cobb County, Georgia is the home of the "Republican Revolution" of 1994, the home district of House Speaker Newt Gingrich whose political agenda calls for cutting fraud, federal spending, and getting big government "off our backs." TV Nation travels to Cobb and discovers Newt's district is the 3rd largest receiver of federal funds. Therefore, we try to get the government off Cobb's back by closing its federally-funded highway, their federally-funded schools, their federally-funded sewage system, and their federally-funded senior center. TV Nation meets the man himself, Newt Gingrich, at the 4th of July parade and encourages his leadership in helping Cobb relieve itself of the burden of federal funds.

School of Americas
The United States has established a school in Georgia to train Latin American soldiers in the art of "population control." It's called School of the Americas. A number of Latin American "strongmen" (Manuel Noriega, for example) have received their education there‹compliments of the American taxpayer.

Did you ever wonder if the polls that appear on TV Nation are real? Many viewers do. So we introduce our viewers to Widgery and Associates, the legitimate polling firm that polls for TV Nation.

Fox Show 4

Most Wanted
Brian Anthony Harris is an African-American man living in Washington, D.C. To date, he has been picked up, brought in, and/or arrested over 20 times because he either "looks like a criminal" or because he closely resembles the description of an actual felon-at-large. It has gotten so bad that Harris is afraid to leave his house and drive to his job as Lighting Director at BET (Black Entertainment Television). TV Nation begins a campaign in Washington complete with billboards and radio ads to inform all police agencies that "Brian Anthony Harris is not wanted."

Love Night
Hate groups are on the rise in the United States. The more protestors try to shout them down, the more hateful they become. TV Nation believes it is time for a little tenderness and throughout "Love Night" attempts to love those who hate. We send a mariachi band to a Klan rally in Georgia. We send a chorus line to kick up some love at the Aryan World Congress. A gay men's choir serenades Senator Jesse Helms outside his bedroom window. And pro choice women bring flowers and create a garden at Operation Rescue headquarters.

Places like Camden, New Jersey, Long Beach, California, and Tulsa, Oklahoma, struggling to get by, have turned to big fish tanks to boost tourism and hopefully save their inner cities. Like Autoworld in Flint, Michigan, these tourist aquariums have failed to turn their communities around. What were the town leaders thinking when they devised these "fishy" plans for economic recovery? TV Nation investigates.

Since the Oklahoma City bombing much attention has been paid to the Michigan Militia, an armed group of disgruntled citizens who Timothy McVeigh and the Nichols brothers consorted with in 1993. TV Nation spends a day with the Militia and attempts to get them to put down their guns, take off the camouflage, and to encourage them to participate in the democratic process. Instead of running around in the woods with guns, Commander Norm Olsen bakes a cake, recites poetry by the lake, and pounds back a root beer at the local outdoor soda shop. TV Nation then joins the Militia members at a local carnival where they ride the Ferris Wheel and the Tilt-A-Whirl and sing "If I Had a Hammer" and "Kumbaya."

TV Nation's resident KGB agent, Yuri Shvets, is sent to check out TV Nation's competition‹Unsolved Mysteries, Family Matters, and Diagnosis: Murder, to find out what they are doing to win in the ratings.

Fox Show 5

Canada Night
TV Nation's special salute to our neighbors to the north. Throughout the night we smuggle illegal Canadians across the border, try to give free guns to Canadians, and attempt to find out how much Americans know about Canada. As a highlight, host Michael Moore sings the Canadian National Anthem at a Toronto Blue Jays/Detroit Tigers game.

DC Perks
The Contract with America states that Congress must abide by all the laws that the citizens of the United States do. As it turns out, Congress still plays and lives by a different set of rules. TV Nation travels to Washington, D.C. to enforce the Contract With America by showing up and asking for the same treatment members of Congress receive. We attempt to park our car in the free "Members Only" spaces at National Airport, get free medical care at Bethesda Naval Hospital, and get a relaxing facial from a congressional cosmetologist.

TV Nation visits the newest board member of the National Rifle Association, rock and roll legend Ted Nugent. Ted gives us a tour of his Michigan farm and expounds on various issues from assault weapons to Janet Reno and confirms his newfound status as the "Rock and Roll Rush Limbaugh."

Crackers Tour -- St. Louis
Crackers the Corporate Crime-Fighting Chicken Tour continues as seven-foot Crackers visits Chicago, Milwaukee, Indianapolis and other cities in the Midwest. In St. Louis Crackers visits the largest battery lead producer in the United States, Doe Run, Inc. Citizens in the neighborhoods surrounding Doe Run believe that their children have been poisoned by the lead emitted from the factory. Crackers conducts a number of lead level tests and takes his results to the state environmental office.

It's been 12 years since Argentina failed in its attempt to win back the Falkland Islands from the British by force. Recently the British government has declared that they will leave the Falklands if that is the wish of the islanders. Seizing this golden opportunity to reclaim their land, the Argentinian government has promised to give each and every citizen of the Falklands $1,000,000 if they will vote to become part of Argentina and give up their British citizenship. When TV Nation pays a visit to the Falklands we don't find many takers. So we travel to Great Britain to se if there is a town there willing to accept the Argentinian offer. We find that in economically ravaged Wales, the offer does not look so bad.

Fox Show 6

The new Congress has said it wants to return more power back to the States. If that's where the power is, we at TV Nation want to reach out and touch that power. Thus begins our mission: to hug all 50 governors.

Coverage of the O.J. Simpson trial is important but does it require 300 reporters a day? Are there not other serious stories to cover? TV Nation hires its own psychological operations expert retired from the U.S. Army to help conduct a "psy-op" program to destabilize and reduce the massive amount of O.J. coverage.

Sections of Rosemont, Illinois, an affluent Chicago suburb, are closed off to the outside world. Taking the concept of a gated community one step further, Rosemont has placed police guard booths on public streets leading into the city—and only residents who can prove they are residents are allowed in. TV Nation goes to the outskirts of Rosemont to set up its own guard booth and prevent citizens of Rosemont from entering Chicago.

Everyone knows unions are dying or dead. But there is a whole new group of jobs out there that are starting to unionize for the first time. It's like the 1930's all over again—except this time it's not industrial workers. It's the Buffalo Bills cheerleading squad. It's the topless dancers at a bar in New Jersey. It's the cartoon characters at Disney World. TV Nation says, "Show us your union label!"

White Men
TV Nation celebrates the white man's achievements and explores disturbing signs that the white man is under attack. We assemble a panel of white male experts to explore the threat from the white man's natural enemies—women, minorities, and everyone who isn't a white man. Will the white man vanish like the mighty buffalo? Or will this sparkling example of the human species survive?

Most Wanted, Part 2
Three weeks ago, TV Nation covered the story of Brian Anthony Harris, a young African-American man living in Washington, D.C. To date he has been pulled over and questioned over 20 times because he either "looks like a criminal" or because his name is the same as an actual felon-at-large. TV Nation started a campaign complete with billboards and radio ads to inform police agencies, "Brian Anthony Harris is not wanted" and asked our African American viewers to phone in if they, too, have been harassed by the police. Tonight rapper Doug E. Fresh takes their names to the FBI in Washington, D.C. asking them to tell police agencies across the country to leave these men alone because they are NOT WANTED!

Fan Mail
TV Nation's own candidate for President, Louie Bruno, and his campaign manager Lucky answer our viewer mail.

Fox Show 7

Bully Reunion Night
Each TV Nation correspondent is reunited with his or her bully from high school. The bullies are flown to New York for a special fun-filled weekend of carriage rides through Central Park, tandem bicycle rides, and a little payback.

Once a year all Catholics are required to go to Confession to confess their sins from the year. Interestingly enough, no two priests give the same penance for the same sins. As a service to our Catholic viewers, TV Nation presents the first ever "Consumer's Guide to the Confessional." We go to confession in twenty churches in the New York city area and confesses her sins. We then discover which churches hand out the lightest penance.

TV Felons
What do you have to get a license for in this country? Driving. Hunting. Fishing. How about to watch TV? Ridiculous, huh? Not in Great Britain, where unless you apply and pay for a license for the privilege of watching television, you can go to jail. TV Nation travels through Britain with the "TV Cops" as they bust British citizens who have plugged in their television sets without permission from the British government.

Crackers -- Detroit
Crackers the Corporate Crime-Fighting Chicken concludes his summer tour travelling through Cleveland, Pittsburgh, Cincinnati, and finally ending up in Detroit. The two daily newspapers , the Detroit News and the Detroit Free Press, are on strike. Crackers investigates the cause of the strike and questions the joint operating agreement under which both papers, once rivals, are managed, and tries to stop the scab newspaper they are currently printing.

TV Nation sends our own KGB agent, Yuri Shvets, to find out what happened to the Democratic Party. They used to stand for something but now voters can't get to the polls fast enough to remove them from office. Yuri tries to solve this mystery by going under cover at a Democratic National Committee meeting. He then travels the highways and byways of the country, talking to citizens and trying to find out what happened to the heart and soul of the Democratic Party.

TV Nation hires the weatherman who was fired for refusing to lie and forecasting rain on a day of a big Republican picnic.

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