TV Nation Segment Summaries
TV Nation travels to Mexico to take advantage of the
North American Free Trade Agreement and make the show
with cheaper labor and maximize profitsjust like GM
New Yorkers know cabs may be difficult to get at rush
hour or during a rainstorm. Black New Yorkers know
another reason a cab may be hard to getdrivers
refuse to stop for them. TV Nation goes to the streets to
find out who is more likely to get a cab in New York
CityYaphet Kotto, a distinguished black actor, or
Louis Bruno, a convicted white felon.
Appleton, Minnesota has hit hard times lately. So what
did they do to improve the economy? They built a prison,
of course, using private and public funds. TV Nation goes
to Appleton to discuss with the community the only thing
missing to make their dreams come trueinmates.
Remember Love Canal, the small town near Niagara Falls?
You may only remember the evacuation that occurred there
due to the leakage of toxic waste into homes. But now,
some industrious realtors are trying to convince people
to move back to the new, less toxic Love Canal.
Remember the Cold War? And threats of nuclear weapons
being aimed at us? These weapons are not still a threat
are they? TV Nation creator Michael Moore travels to
Russia to find the missile still aimed at his hometown,
Flint, Michigan and convince the Russians to redirect it.
TV Nation challenges the CEO's of major corporations to
perform some simple tasks using their company's products
in order to justify their huge salaries. We ask the
chairman of IBM to format a disk, the chairman of
Palmolive to wash dishes, and the CEO of Phillip Morris
to roll a cigarette.
AIDS Insurance Brokers
If you could make a lot of money through the death of
another individual, would you do it? TV Nation visits
some people who wouldbrokers who make available to
investors the life insurance policies of AIDS patients at
discount prices. When the patient dies, investors can
claim the entire value of the policy, and make a huge
Klan PR Makeover
Most people realize that politicians uses media experts
to coach them on how to use the media to their advantage.
Few people realize that hate groups do the same. TV
Nation meets the "National Director" of the
new, media-savvy Ku Klux Klan to see how the Klan's
rhetoric has changed.
Remember the Gulf War, when Allied troops went to Kuwait
to defeat the Iraqis and restore democracy? TV Nation
travels to liberated, democratic Kuwait to find out if
the Gulf War really did bring democracy to a country
where, for example, women cannot vote.
Pets on Prozac
Psychiatrists have been prescribing Prozac to people with
mental problems for many years now. But what about pets
with mental problems, such as a dog that is obsessed with
a log? TV Nation checks up on a number of pets that have
been prescribed Prozac by their veterinarians and see
what the drug has done.
We all know what Dr. Jack Kervorkian does for a living,
but did you ever wonder what he does in his spare time?
TV Nation finds out by visiting him at his home in
Many people feel that lobbyists are running our
government and those with enough money can buy the
government. TV Nation tests this theory and hires a
lobbyist to see exactly how much democracy can be bought
TV Nation travels to the Amazon to visit Avon
representatives who sell cosmetics to women by promising
lighter skin, even greater height, when they buy Avon
products that cost up to 13 times their daily wage.
North Dakota is the least visited state in the United
States. Attractions such as the Lawrence Welk Museum and
the geographical center of North America along with the
subzero temperatures would suggest a booming tourist
industry. TV Nation investigates.
What happens after New Yorkers flush the toilet? TV
Nation follows the sludge train all the way to Sierra
Blanca, Texas where New York's sludge is shipped and
spread around town by the Merco company.
O.J./Product Placement Night
Have you noticed all of the free advertising companies
have been getting from the extensive coverage of the O.J.
Simpson trial? McDonald's. The Mezzaluna. White Ford
Broncos. TV Nation jumps on the bandwagon and visits
O.J.'s Bronco dealer to learn about the "O.J.
Special." We also offer free advertising by
strategically placing various products throughout the
Would you take vacation advice from a convicted felon?
Prison labor is increasingly being used by corporations
and even by state tourist departments as a source of
cheap labor. TV Nation spends some time with inmates that
book vacations but can never leave prison walls.
We all know President Bill Clinton as the man "from
a little town called Hope." Not many people know he
grew up somewhere else. TV Nation travels to the town
where Clinton grew up, a resort town in Arkansas called
What does it take to become royalty? Family connections?
TV Nation visits Britain to learn what it really
takesabout $8,000. And they take Diners Club!
Health Care Olympics
TV Nation creates a contest for three different
healthcare systems to see which system provides the best
care. Competing countries are the United States, Canada,
and Cuba. Special guests Bob Costas and Ahmad Rashad call
play-by-play during the contest.
TV Nation Day
TV Nation and the citizens of Fishkill, NY celebrate and
wait for August 16, 1994 to be declared officially by
Congress as "TV Nation Day."
There are over 2,500 groups in the United States who feel
the end of the world as we know it will come with the new
millennium. TV Nation visits four of these groups to find
out if we will survive the year 2000.
Get Ready for Prison Test
It seems that lately more and more white collar criminals
are going to prison. But will they be prepared for their
new environment? TV Nation hires an advisor to prepare
our viewers who may very well be entering prison in the
Just like The Who, Communism has come and gone. The only
difference is, Communism never had a last tour across
America. TV Nation gives it that last tour by packing an
18-wheeler with Communist merchandise and driving it
through the South.
Not many of us understand what is going on in Bosnia. All
we seem to know is that a lot of people are dying and we
are doing nothing about it. TV Nation visits the
ambassadors of Serbia and Croatia to eat pizza and
perform diplomacy in order to work out a peace plan in
the former Yugoslavia.
TV Nation correspondents join the ranks of Bill Cosby,
Donald Trump, Howard Stern and Congressmen's wives -- and
pack heat! We exercise our right to not only bear arms,
but to shoot them too!
Do you know your neighbors' names? Do you know what they
do for a living? Do you know if they are serial killers?
TV Nation sends a serial killer to a typical suburban
neighborhood to see what the neighborhood knows.
TV Nation uses its leverage to get tax breaks for running
its operation in New York City by threatening to move to
New Jersey. We go right to the topNew York City
mayor Rudolph Giulianito see what we can get.
TV Nation attempts to answer the commonly asked question:
Where exactly do those people on daytime talk shows come
TV Nation elicits the help of golf pro Rodger Jabara for
hints on how to improve the show and that terrible
What was the British Empire built on? According to some
British peoplecaning. After an American teenager
was caned in Singapore was caned for scrawling graffiti
on a car, many Americans began to advocate adopting the
practice here as a means of discipline. TV Nation risks
its butt and visits Great Britain to get the story on
Have you ever tried to get revenge on your boss by
committing acts of disobedience or sabotage? Stealing
office supplies or perhaps crashing your bosses car? TV
Nation finds out that many workers have. We learn that
tactics used by workers to get payback on bosses that do
not respect them.
Who actually responds to direct mail mailings? TV Nation
performs an experiment to see who would receive more
responsesa young couple in need or Jeffrey Dahmer.
We have heard a lot lately about companies downsizing in
order to save a few bucks. TV Nation finds that these
companies actually hire consultants to help them downsize
more effectively. We then hire our own consultant so we
can trim the fat on our payrolls.
Year End Special
Throughout the show TV Nation gives jacuzzi limousine
rides to members of the most hated groups in America
including landlords, telemarketers, and satanists.
We have all heard of Live Aid and Farm Aid, concerts that
raise money for the needy. But this year was a rough year
for some needy corporations that were slapped with record
judgments against them for various corporate crimes. TV
Nation holds a concert benefit featuring the Meat Puppets
on Wall Street in New York City to raise money for the
neediest corporation of them allExxon.
White House Security Guard
The White House seems to have been under assault
latelya man flies his plane into it, a man shoots
at it. The President may be in danger. TV Nation hires
private security guard for the most important address in
the free world.
Didn't Die in '94
End-of-the-year specials always talk about the people
that died in the previous year. We at TV Nation think
that is depressing so throughout the night we highlight
the people that did not die in 1994.
The past few years have been busy ones for American
troops. Trips to Haiti, Somalia, and Kuwait. TV Nation
holds a vote for the American public to decide where the
troops will invade in 1995.
TV Nation takes a look at careers and rhetoric of the men
and...men that have been elected in overwhelming numbers
to run our countrythe Republicans!
Steven Wright/New Year
Steven Wright consults a number of experts on the major
events that will or will not occur in 1995.
Politicians always talk about the number of jobs their
administration has created. TV Nation talks to a number
of people in Scranton, Pennsylvania to see what
"new" jobs they have gotten and how their lives
have improved since the creation of these jobs during the
Bruno for President
With such easy qualifications for becoming
Presidenta candidate must be a 35-year old
native-born citizenwhy do we always have so few
choices? TV Nation runs its own candidate, convicted
felon Louie Bruno, to take part in the democratic
TV Nation visits various cities in America in celebration
of their status as #1 in various fields such as Playboy
subscriptions and carjacking.
TV Nation invades the public beaches of Greenwich,
Connecticut which are not all that public. The beach is
restricted to Greenwich residents only. So TV Nation
brings a bus load of New Yorkers to enjoy the beach. When
the bus is turned away, TV Nation's bus load of New
Yorkers turn to the sea...and swim to the beach.
Crime Scene Cleanup
TV Nation meets the Barnes' a couple who started a
business to cash in on the rise in violent crimes by
cleaning up crime scenes. After the bodies are cleared
and the police have gone, the Barnes' move in, do their
business, and collect a hefty profit.
We all know slavery ended in the 1860's, right? Wrong.
Mississippi has just gotten around to ending slavery. TV
Nation rushes to Mississippi to acquire some slaves
before the new law takes effect.
TV Nation introduces Crackers the Corporate Crime
Fighting Chicken, a seven foot chicken that takes tips
and takes action against corporate criminals across the
country. In this segment, Crackers talks to New York City
mayor Rudolph Giuliani about tax breaks given to a
company called First Boston to stay in New York. But the
company left anyway. Crackers and TV Nation say
"That's a corporate crime!
Throughout the show, TV Nation asks people on the street
to name some things that really get on their nerves. Car
alarms that go off at 6 a.m.? No problem, TV Nation
visits the CEO of a major car alarm company and sets off
10 car alarms at 6 a.m. Other paybacks include blasting
Muzak outside the home of the head of Muzak and lifting
and dropping a garbage dumpster outside the home of a
garbage company owner.
After running a classified ad in a local Russian
newspaper in New York and screening dozens of qualified
applicants, TV Nation hires Yuri Shvets as its very own
KGB spy. Yuri's first mission is to reassure us that
President Nixon is indeed dead despite reports of Nixon's
friends' surprise and disbelief at his passing.
Many members of Congress want to eliminate funding for
the National Endowment for the Arts and let private
enterprise pay for our artists and museums. TV Nation
says, "Hey, not a bad idea!" and visits on a
tour of those museums that currently thrive without a
single penny from the NEAthe Kentucky Fried Chicken
Museum, the Tobacco Art and History Museum, and the
Sacred Arts Museum, where the tour guide looks like
TV Nation visits an Idaho man who bought 750 tons of
scrap metal at a government auction. To his surprise,
when he got the scrap metal home it turned out to be
makings of an atomic bomb factory.
Each year millions of tourists visit the Holy Land.
Occasionally, a few of them get off the tour bus and
believe they are Jesus. Doctors in Jerusalem have named
this phenomenon the "Jerusalem Syndrome." TV
Nation walks the path of the prophets to investigate.
Johns of Justice
There is always a long line snaking out of women's
restrooms at theaters, concerts, sporting events, and
even some workplaces. Can't we, by now, figure this out?
Surely it's not because most of the builders, architects,
and plumbers are men is it? TV Nation takes a flatbed
truck, puts a half-dozen port-o-johns on it and takes the
"Johns of Justice" to some of the worst
War Reenactment Night
TV Nation joins the guys who dress up on weekends and
reenact Civil War battles. Only this time, we have them
reenact more recent battles in full Civil War
regaliathe fall of Saigon, the Battle of Hiroshima,
the battle between Tom Arnold and Roseanne and the battle
everyone wanted to seethe one that occurred when
Elizabeth Hurley picked up Hugh Grant from London's
The Southern Baptist Church has published a map in
Alabama showing which counties have the most residents
who are "unsaved" and therefore doomed to the
fires of hell. TV Nation travels to the county with the
most "lost" souls and attempts to save them
from eternal damnation.
Crackers -- Philly
Crackers the Corporate Crime-Fighting Chicken heads to
Philadelphia in search of corporate wrongdoing. Hundreds
of TV Nation fans how up to give him tips, one of which
particularly ruffles Crackers' feathers: Philadelphia
banks charge up to $30 for bounced check fees even if you
are not responsible for bouncing the check. Crackers
investigates the tip and takes action.
Just when you thought machines had replaced
everyonenow comes the electronic nose. Around the
world thousands of people are employed by companies to
test the smell of new products, whether peasant or not.
These employees sniff the interiors of new cars, luggage
and clothing. They also smell the effects of deodorant,
air freshener, and other products designed to cover up
bad odors. But recently two companies in Great Britain
developed an electronic nose that can do the same job. TV
Nation visits these companies and the employees who will
be displaced and challenges the electronic and human
sniffers to go "nose-to-nose."
Cobb County, Georgia is the home of the "Republican
Revolution" of 1994, the home district of House
Speaker Newt Gingrich whose political agenda calls for
cutting fraud, federal spending, and getting big
government "off our backs." TV Nation travels
to Cobb and discovers Newt's district is the 3rd largest
receiver of federal funds. Therefore, we try to get the
government off Cobb's back by closing its
federally-funded highway, their federally-funded schools,
their federally-funded sewage system, and their
federally-funded senior center. TV Nation meets the man
himself, Newt Gingrich, at the 4th of July parade and
encourages his leadership in helping Cobb relieve itself
of the burden of federal funds.
School of Americas
The United States has established a school in Georgia to
train Latin American soldiers in the art of
"population control." It's called School of the
Americas. A number of Latin American
"strongmen" (Manuel Noriega, for example) have
received their education therecompliments of the
Did you ever wonder if the polls that appear on TV Nation
are real? Many viewers do. So we introduce our viewers to
Widgery and Associates, the legitimate polling firm that
polls for TV Nation.
Brian Anthony Harris is an African-American man living in
Washington, D.C. To date, he has been picked up, brought
in, and/or arrested over 20 times because he either
"looks like a criminal" or because he closely
resembles the description of an actual felon-at-large. It
has gotten so bad that Harris is afraid to leave his
house and drive to his job as Lighting Director at BET
(Black Entertainment Television). TV Nation begins a
campaign in Washington complete with billboards and radio
ads to inform all police agencies that "Brian
Anthony Harris is not wanted."
Hate groups are on the rise in the United States. The
more protestors try to shout them down, the more hateful
they become. TV Nation believes it is time for a little
tenderness and throughout "Love Night" attempts
to love those who hate. We send a mariachi band to a Klan
rally in Georgia. We send a chorus line to kick up some
love at the Aryan World Congress. A gay men's choir
serenades Senator Jesse Helms outside his bedroom window.
And pro choice women bring flowers and create a garden at
Operation Rescue headquarters.
Places like Camden, New Jersey, Long Beach, California,
and Tulsa, Oklahoma, struggling to get by, have turned to
big fish tanks to boost tourism and hopefully save their
inner cities. Like Autoworld in Flint, Michigan, these
tourist aquariums have failed to turn their communities
around. What were the town leaders thinking when they
devised these "fishy" plans for economic
recovery? TV Nation investigates.
Since the Oklahoma City bombing much attention has been
paid to the Michigan Militia, an armed group of
disgruntled citizens who Timothy McVeigh and the Nichols
brothers consorted with in 1993. TV Nation spends a day
with the Militia and attempts to get them to put down
their guns, take off the camouflage, and to encourage
them to participate in the democratic process. Instead of
running around in the woods with guns, Commander Norm
Olsen bakes a cake, recites poetry by the lake, and
pounds back a root beer at the local outdoor soda shop.
TV Nation then joins the Militia members at a local
carnival where they ride the Ferris Wheel and the
Tilt-A-Whirl and sing "If I Had a Hammer" and
TV Nation's resident KGB agent, Yuri Shvets, is sent to
check out TV Nation's competitionUnsolved
Mysteries, Family Matters, and Diagnosis: Murder, to find
out what they are doing to win in the ratings.
TV Nation's special salute to our neighbors to the north.
Throughout the night we smuggle illegal Canadians across
the border, try to give free guns to Canadians, and
attempt to find out how much Americans know about Canada.
As a highlight, host Michael Moore sings the Canadian
National Anthem at a Toronto Blue Jays/Detroit Tigers
The Contract with America states that Congress must abide
by all the laws that the citizens of the United States
do. As it turns out, Congress still plays and lives by a
different set of rules. TV Nation travels to Washington,
D.C. to enforce the Contract With America by showing up
and asking for the same treatment members of Congress
receive. We attempt to park our car in the free
"Members Only" spaces at National Airport, get
free medical care at Bethesda Naval Hospital, and get a
relaxing facial from a congressional cosmetologist.
TV Nation visits the newest board member of the National
Rifle Association, rock and roll legend Ted Nugent. Ted
gives us a tour of his Michigan farm and expounds on
various issues from assault weapons to Janet Reno and
confirms his newfound status as the "Rock and Roll
Crackers Tour -- St. Louis
Crackers the Corporate Crime-Fighting Chicken Tour
continues as seven-foot Crackers visits Chicago,
Milwaukee, Indianapolis and other cities in the Midwest.
In St. Louis Crackers visits the largest battery lead
producer in the United States, Doe Run, Inc. Citizens in
the neighborhoods surrounding Doe Run believe that their
children have been poisoned by the lead emitted from the
factory. Crackers conducts a number of lead level tests
and takes his results to the state environmental office.
It's been 12 years since Argentina failed in its attempt
to win back the Falkland Islands from the British by
force. Recently the British government has declared that
they will leave the Falklands if that is the wish of the
islanders. Seizing this golden opportunity to reclaim
their land, the Argentinian government has promised to
give each and every citizen of the Falklands $1,000,000
if they will vote to become part of Argentina and give up
their British citizenship. When TV Nation pays a visit to
the Falklands we don't find many takers. So we travel to
Great Britain to se if there is a town there willing to
accept the Argentinian offer. We find that in
economically ravaged Wales, the offer does not look so
The new Congress has said it wants to return more power
back to the States. If that's where the power is, we at
TV Nation want to reach out and touch that power. Thus
begins our mission: to hug all 50 governors.
Coverage of the O.J. Simpson trial is important but does
it require 300 reporters a day? Are there not other
serious stories to cover? TV Nation hires its own
psychological operations expert retired from the U.S.
Army to help conduct a "psy-op" program to
destabilize and reduce the massive amount of O.J.
Sections of Rosemont, Illinois, an affluent Chicago
suburb, are closed off to the outside world. Taking the
concept of a gated community one step further, Rosemont
has placed police guard booths on public streets leading
into the cityand only residents who can prove they
are residents are allowed in. TV Nation goes to the
outskirts of Rosemont to set up its own guard booth and
prevent citizens of Rosemont from entering Chicago.
Everyone knows unions are dying or dead. But there is a
whole new group of jobs out there that are starting to
unionize for the first time. It's like the 1930's all
over againexcept this time it's not industrial
workers. It's the Buffalo Bills cheerleading squad. It's
the topless dancers at a bar in New Jersey. It's the
cartoon characters at Disney World. TV Nation says,
"Show us your union label!"
TV Nation celebrates the white man's achievements and
explores disturbing signs that the white man is under
attack. We assemble a panel of white male experts to
explore the threat from the white man's natural
enemieswomen, minorities, and everyone who isn't a
white man. Will the white man vanish like the mighty
buffalo? Or will this sparkling example of the human
Most Wanted, Part 2
Three weeks ago, TV Nation covered the story of Brian
Anthony Harris, a young African-American man living in
Washington, D.C. To date he has been pulled over and
questioned over 20 times because he either "looks
like a criminal" or because his name is the same as
an actual felon-at-large. TV Nation started a campaign
complete with billboards and radio ads to inform police
agencies, "Brian Anthony Harris is not wanted"
and asked our African American viewers to phone in if
they, too, have been harassed by the police. Tonight
rapper Doug E. Fresh takes their names to the FBI in
Washington, D.C. asking them to tell police agencies
across the country to leave these men alone because they
are NOT WANTED!
TV Nation's own candidate for President, Louie Bruno, and
his campaign manager Lucky answer our viewer mail.
Fox Show 7
Bully Reunion Night
Each TV Nation correspondent is reunited with his or her
bully from high school. The bullies are flown to New York
for a special fun-filled weekend of carriage rides
through Central Park, tandem bicycle rides, and a little
Once a year all Catholics are required to go to
Confession to confess their sins from the year.
Interestingly enough, no two priests give the same
penance for the same sins. As a service to our Catholic
viewers, TV Nation presents the first ever
"Consumer's Guide to the Confessional." We go
to confession in twenty churches in the New York city
area and confesses her sins. We then discover which
churches hand out the lightest penance.
What do you have to get a license for in this country?
Driving. Hunting. Fishing. How about to watch TV?
Ridiculous, huh? Not in Great Britain, where unless you
apply and pay for a license for the privilege of watching
television, you can go to jail. TV Nation travels through
Britain with the "TV Cops" as they bust British
citizens who have plugged in their television sets
without permission from the British government.
Crackers -- Detroit
Crackers the Corporate Crime-Fighting Chicken concludes
his summer tour travelling through Cleveland, Pittsburgh,
Cincinnati, and finally ending up in Detroit. The two
daily newspapers , the Detroit News and the Detroit Free
Press, are on strike. Crackers investigates the cause of
the strike and questions the joint operating agreement
under which both papers, once rivals, are managed, and
tries to stop the scab newspaper they are currently
TV Nation sends our own KGB agent, Yuri Shvets, to find
out what happened to the Democratic Party. They used to
stand for something but now voters can't get to the polls
fast enough to remove them from office. Yuri tries to
solve this mystery by going under cover at a Democratic
National Committee meeting. He then travels the highways
and byways of the country, talking to citizens and trying
to find out what happened to the heart and soul of the
TV Nation hires the weatherman who was fired for refusing
to lie and forecasting rain on a day of a big Republican