|65% of all Americans believe that frozen pizza will never be any good and there's nothing science can do about it.||45% of Americans think rain doesn't feel as good in real life as it seems to in the movies.||16% of Perot voters believe "if dolphins were really smart, they could get out of those nets."||70% of American women have never had an emotionally satisfying relationship with a Republican.||62% of Americans believe that a trip to a major theme park is more culturally enriching than a trip to the Reagan Library.|
|39% of Americans believe that guns are not "as dangerous as they say."||15% of Americans wish Dennis Hopper would go back on drugs.||29% of Americans believe that Elvis was right to shoot TV sets.||29% of Perot voters say, "The candidate I vote for usually loses."||11% of Americans that suffer from indigestion would rather retake the SAT than watch a Jesse Helms filibuster.|
|88% of Bush voters "have no idea what rappers are talking about."||14% of Americans surveyed agree that Puerto Rico should not be the 51st state because "that extra star would make the flag look bad."|| 35% of Americans
believe Richard Nixon went to heaven.
59% believe he went "somewhere else."
|34% of those who voted in the last election believe "Forrest Gump" was a documentary.||60% of Americans say that, if they could push a button that would make Larry King disappear, they would "keep pushing it and not stop."|
|37% of Americans agree that while they would hate being British, they wouldn't mind having a British accent.||11% of people who have tried Prozac would like to see Dan Quayle make a comeback because "Al Gore just isn't funny enough."||36% of college graduates think that there are virtually no female serial killers because women "just aren't aggressive enough."||12% of those polled believe the success of actor David Hasselhoff, star of Baywatch, is due at least in part, to "dealings with the devil."||45% of Americans believe that if space aliens could pick up C-SPAN and see Sonny Bono speaking on the floor of Congress, they would never visit the Earth.|
17% of college graduates would punch themselves really hard in the face for $50.
|28% of those who said they were "normal" Americans, would like to be King of Great Britain, but not if it meant marrying the Queen.||44% of Republicans said they would watch "Nightline" if it had a band and an opening comedy monologue.||If Jesus came back and saw that Pat Robertson was his spokesperson, 46% of Americans think that we'd all be in big trouble.||42% of Americans feel that Kato Kaelin should be a passenger on the next space shuttle, whether he wants to go or not.|
|26% of those in possession of a firearm believe that the second amendment protects their right to buy explosive fertilizer.||81% of those who have seen two or more "Police Academy" movies believe that O.J. is innocent.||29% of those surveyed think that the guy who first put the "Great" in front of "Britain" probably meant it as a joke.|| 16% of all Americans
believe that the world is out to get them.
Of those, 46% are gun owners.
|One third of American women agree that baseball was more exciting when it was on strike.|
|40% of Americans remember where they were when "JFK" the movie was shot.||Of those who said they've had a good cry in the past six months, 42% were Democrats, 27% were Republicans and 54% said they believe in UFO's.|| In the past year 36%
of Americans have chanted "We're Number One!"
Only 22% of Bush voters have chanted "We're Number One!"
| More Americans say they would rather
spend time in a jacuzzi with Dan Rather than Tom Brokaw.
Of those who would tub with Dan, 10% have no health insurance.
| 12.5% of Americans
that voted for Clinton believe that they will someday be
told "just what Victoria's Secret is."
98% of Bush voters believe they will never know.
|28% of Americans think that our army's high-tech military equipment is too expensive to risk in combat.|| 65% of
American women believe there is "a lot of
difference" between a campaign contribution and a
Only 35% of men see a difference.
| 10% of the
American public would pay $5 to see Senator Orrin Hatch
(R-Utah) fight a big mean dog on Pay TV.
86% of all viewers would root for the dog.
100% of women viewers would root for the dog.
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