TV NATION NEWSLETTER SEPTEMBER 8, 1995

CRACKERS FAQ

WHAT IS YOUR BACKGROUND, CRACKERS?

Hey, that's a secret! Don't you see the mask? The purple one over my eyes? That's so people -- and other chickens -- don't recognize me. I would like to tell you more about myself, but I fear it would compromise my crimefighting abilities. I must be able to walk freely among the enemy to gather information on them. I will reveal one small bit of information about myself: my parents were killed by corporate crime. And I won't rest until those villains feel a Swift Kick from the Drumstick of Justice!

YOU'VE SPENT THE SUMMER TRAVELLING ALL OVER THE MIDWEST IN 95 DEGREE WEATHER. IS IT HOT IN THAT COSTUME?

It's not a costume. Next question.

CHICKENS ARE FEMALE. HOW COME YOU SOUND LIKE A GUY?

Hey, don't get technical with me. I am a male chicken. I am also 7-feet tall and 200 pounds. Anything is possible.

DO YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?

I have no time for such relationships, citizen. I'll just say one thing: corporate crimefighting is a harsh mistress indeed!

YOU CALL YOURSELF A SUPERHERO. WHAT ARE YOUR SUPERPOWERS?

I am big. I am yellow. I am very determined. What more does a crimefighter need?

DO YOU LIKE CHICKEN, YOU KNOW, AS A MEAL?

No. Absolutely not. My new slogan is: "Don't eat chicken. Eat the rich." Do you like it?

IF FOX DOES NOT RENEW "TV NATION", WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOU?

I'll be working birthday parties. Does anyone out there need any balloons delivered?